First off, nothing is regularly scheduled when it comes to well, pretty much anything I do. Other than...nope not that either. Thing is I don't like things that are regularly scheduled and THAT is the problem today...
You see, for the past 3 months I've been able to be that spontaneous non-planned, live in the moment kind-a-person I once was before responsibility. I mean yes, technically this summer did require me to be a tiny bit of a responsible adult, but in general my boys and I woke up and tackled the day as we wanted to, minus a plan. Did you read that people, for virtually three months I DID NOT HAVE A PLAN! For me, living this way is SO much more creatively stimulating. Not knowing what is next, well opens the possibilities to the Nth degree!
For years, and I mean YEARS, the summer was creatively stifling; a box with no openings. I counted down the days til August and cheered as I dropped my boys off for their first day of school. Quite frankly up until this year, working tons of overtime hours offered more of a break to the dreads of monotony than my summer role as cruise director. To be honest in past summers, if I did not have a plan by 10 am, there were many times the mayhem at our home was so paralyzing that I almost called my husband at work to announce my immediate resignation as mom. Three boys under one roof without a plan of action is pretty much like detonating a ticking time bomb with roughly 30 minutes give or take before the house WILL ultimately explode. Of course it wasn't just the pent up energy that made summers a bear, there was also this internal pressure to make sure my kids spent a certain amount of time soaking up the natural rays of the sun rather than the artificial rays emitted from the glow of our television screen.
But not THIS summer. It was different. It was FLEXIBLE! Why?
1. My boys are relatively self sufficient and other than the fact that I'm considering buying a yellow sedan with a taxi sign on top, I no longer have to decide their daily destiny.
2. They are teenagers and with all the activities they have to rush around to 9 months out of the year they don't want a plan as much as I don't want a plan.
3. Fortnite. Yes Fortnite, as much as I HATE to admit it, Fortnite was my savior. This game unleashed a freedom I have not experienced since having kids. This was the first summer where for my boys lack of activity meant more time to accomplish their Fortnite goals, to become the best of the best. I mean I can't blame them for their will to succeed, right?
Not once did ask the dreaded question, "What are we going to do today?", nor did they relentlessly complain about how bored they were like previous summers. And that so called pressure I'd internalized all those years, well it was easy to convince myself that Fortnite was beneficial because of the social aspects of the game. The fact that their friends were always available online, meant I was not the only mom turning a blind eye to the hours on end of screen time.
Undeniably, this was the summer of letting go. The summer I retired as camp counselor and instead enjoyed the bliss of abandoning rationality and living on the whim.
So why butterflies today? Well today marks the day where all this liberty comes crashing down. Not only does August 27th, which marks the first day of school, crush my children's unhindered freedom, it also pulverizes mine. Reality is really a termagant. {Yeah doesn't flow of the tongue like it should, but I must camouflage the filth.}
As this truth settles in and defiles the glorious unrestraint of summer, I slowly begin to realize all good things must come to an end. I concede to the fact that it is now time to reconstitute my incumbencies as a responsible adult. And as we return to this regularly scheduled, schedule, and I open the calendar to write down the obligations of the months ahead, it doesn't take long for my mind to drift off as I am quickly intoxicated by lingering thoughts about the ever-changing opportunities that exist merely 285 days away.
Here's a few clicks as my boys went off to school this morning. As you can see by these images I was really on top of my game. :-) Happy first day of school!